Making An Apology

Wednesday, 10 May 2006

According to the Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary, an "apology" is defined as "an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret." As an elementary school teacher for the past six years, I have taught many lessons to youngsters on the purpose of an apology, the circumstances under which an apology is necessary, and have made children apologize to each other when an instance of disrespect, misunderstanding, or an argument has occurred. For some kids, saying those two words, "I'm sorry" does not mean much to them, as they have been reminded by many an adult, on more than one occassion, to do so, and more or less they do so to appease the adult and/or the situation. The hope is that, as the children grow older and mature, they will realize the power of those two words and how just those two little words can mean so much to someone in search of empathy and validation.

Sometimes, those two little words are all the person needs to hear in order to move forward.

There's that popular poster that says something like, "All I ever really needed to know I learned in Kindergarten."

Well, I put that into practice myself tonight.

Tomorrow, after nearly a week away, taking turns sleeping by my father's side, waking up at 3 am to move his limbs or help him urinate, hosing him off on the lanai with our dog Kaliko licking at his heels, being stranded in the hot house watching way too much TV, moving the collar of his shirt, the bottom or his shorts, his hand, fingers, legs, and toes at each request to make sure he was comfortable no matter what time it was, my brother and I plan to move my dad back into my stepmom's house.

Caregiving for someone who has lost nearly all his physical mobility and who currently only has his voice and breath on his side, is a challenge indeed. It is something that takes a team of committed, caring, patient, and selfless individuals to take on. It challenges people to face their own emotions, their vulnerabilities, insecurities, and ultimately, the strength within their selves. It is by no means an easy task. It is not something you are often prepared for. It is not something you have planned to do so suddenly in this phase of your life.

But, when the time comes, caregiving for a loved one either brings people closer or tears them apart. Communication is key when you are sharing the care. And, when things go awry, sometimes all you need to do is muster enough strength to remember what it was like in kindergarten, and just say those two little words. For, no matter how forced it may seem at the time, life is just too short not to.